I came to the world as a female and grew up like one until the age of 3. That is when I refused to wear dresses and my parents were ok with it.
I never cared much for gender definitions. I dresses as a boy & played with both boys and girls. I felt like any other boy and luckily, my friends accepted me for who I was. However, I was an introvert and would not show my emotions to the rest of the world. It would usually end up by crying.
Around the age of 12, puberty started showing its first signs. I wasn’t happy with the physical and emotional changes I was experiencing. It felt as if I was hit by a heavy hammer and I basically felt as if my own body was cheating on me. My head felt disconnected from the rest of my body and questions started to surface that I was not yet ready to confront with.
I came out at the age of 17 as a lesbian. But that wasn’t “it” for me. I did not grant me the sense of freedom I was hoping it would. The fantasy of one day, becoming a man kept lingering in my head. That is when I started researching online and found a whole world of information from like-minded individuals. I was not alone.